In each solution the problem, method graduated
First degree: a situation that sees you involved in a problem that you're not responsible, then it is still possible to settle it favorably or fully repair the damage. Past a possible upset in the making aware of the incident, there is a situation quite pleasant and advantageous, since the problem will be resolved and / or injury compensated under the powerful mechanism encouraging everyone to maintain socially appearances as possible. You no loser and receive an apology, thus having the opportunity to accept or reject them. Accept is strongly recommended, preferably in front of witnesses, the fact that you have been able to reject but you did nothing boosting your indulgence, and get away from potentially damaging feuds in subsequent occurrences. Do you attract the desires of revenge, this is a golden rule that you can not override that some very specific circumstances.
Second degree: a situation that sees you involved in a problem which you are responsible, while it is still possible to settle it favorably or fully repair the damage. The situation is less comfortable, even unpleasant, but usually without consequence beyond the short term. Pretend a clear sense of guilt and a strong desire for redemption, and fix the problem as soon as possible (this step, rough but bearable, is essential for the smooth running of the process). There you will find the opportunity to demonstrate the strength of your conscience and your sense of responsibility to other people involved (who, wishing to display their gentleness and away the avengers, can not deny your excuses and not take note of your scrupulous management of the case).
Third degree: The third situation is: you are involved in a problem that you are not responsible for the consequences of which are not repairable, or the injury compensation. Here, the severity of the damage comes into play, and the response from wrong vary. Some, often Christians, held in face to expiate their guilt and do penance, they feel constantly indebted to you. These take many initiatives to be kind and you will not let you do anything anymore. This scenario is the best of all (he is also affectionately known as "the jackpot") - it was also unlikely, we would encourage everyone to suffer irreparable harm deliberately to benefit. Other troublemakers, facing the certainty of never being able to redeem their guilt, you avoid constantly now, and you offer the guarantee almost complete that you do see them again ever otherwise than by accident, occasions on which they are distinguished by their discretion embarrassed, and inevitably will shorten the interview. In this case, you're losing, there are compensations, however moral and emotional: the feeling of having been a victim of injustice is deeply rewarding and altogether pleasant, and it offers many opportunities to be complaining - that it should be seized - from those that you will maintain the situation. A third scenario resulting from the situation # 3: The author of damage you suffer feels no guilt and feel no guilt, his behavior will in no way altered by the misfortune that made you suffer. This situation, not without being humiliating, the situation is the most painful of all. It does not prevent compensation already mentioned moral and emotional (feelings of injustice and opportunities to be pitied), and most importantly, it presents the very specific circumstances in which revenge is relevant and legitimate, although it must be executed in a way that ensures good protection after the fact.
Fourth degree: the fourth situation, finally, is the most uncomfortable: it is one that involves you in a problem which you are responsible and who is not repairable, or that you do can compensate the damage caused. Only the most skilled and most experienced are able to do then complain with the show - with gooders or at least low - a feeling of guilt by putting them on the rack. Note that this method is advantageous in case of simulation - simulation and credible - this test shame and horror of failing. These feelings actually suffered would make you seriously lose. That is why it is important never to try to redeem yourself: you will not succeed and spend energy still insufficient for these purposes, without ever managing to erase the damage you caused, at least in the spirit of the man or woman who has suffered. The attitude most often recommended is that of indifference, as if you do nothing, you do not avoid those who suffered the consequences of your inconsistencies, and you agree not in any way the mood swings, whatever they are, at their destination. This method is often effective because it is often the dismay or doubt prevent progressive simply treated individuals to react differently than if it had actually nothing happened. People do not forget, they never forget, make no mistake about it, but as time passes, the more it will be difficult, and finally almost impossible to break your habits has introduced Tactical active indifference. However, it should draw attention to the flaw of this method, as was mentioned hollow in our presentation on the third level: it states that acts of vengeance, skillfully executed, do you leave a response as well perilous open war. That is why other methods have our favors, they choose according to his taste for daring and risk balance, and depending on its aesthetic affinities. Let us not forget the possibilities of reversing the steam, ensuring that the person you have wronged you in turn causes so as to suddenly reverse roles and to shift the guilt of the other side of the net. This is a great challenge, which requires from you a good ability to anticipate and organization. Successful, the maneuver is quite enjoyable - it nevertheless has some risks, you should measure from the personality of the target person, you already know the advantage when you choose to go off the incident will be detrimental (to the risks arising and attractions, see the preceding paragraph, with the third situation). An important reference to those who are tempted by this Method: Once the operation completed successfully, the phrase "being left" in no way belongs to your vocabulary. Finally, in the fourth situation, the method of greatest brilliance and panache, which is why we favor, is: do not attempt to bias as possible by keeping your habits while trying to avoid the person you have wronged, then it's your behavior that she would take on all the difficulties that caused the problem you are responsible. Instead, adopt a highly aggressive behavior, even brutal, Be obnoxious as most free to be with the person to whom damage has been caused by your fault. Your attitude is made even crueler by a clear awareness that this person intends to take advantage of his position as victim. You have to take speed without being caught, your ferocity and your rudeness should be explosive and should be deployed in a very short period, a few days at most, but never as a crime or an offense quickly attests. When you reach the excessive and intolerable life changed immediately, move away, leaving your job and cut all the bridges that allow you to find your target without having to implement very large and expensive effort. This method has a cost, we agree - but leveled at a high dose of verbal abuse and moral evil will inevitably - if not traumatic in the best case - the person with whom you had made a mistake not to buy . And when the other loses, you win: you have returned a situation that you were not conducive to starting yet. Let us never despair, solutions still exist.
© Anthony Poiraudeau - 2010
A version of this text was first published on the convoy glossolalists in four episodes of 7 to 10 September 2010.
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